I don’t go to therapy to find out if I’m a freak
I go and I find the one and only answer every week
And when I talk about therapy, I know what people think
That it only makes you selfish and in love with your shrink
But, oh how I loved everybody else
When I finally got to talk so much about myself
– Dar Williams, What Do You Hear in These Sounds
There are people
who are secretly
wishing for your downfall.
They are patiently waiting,
maybe one day
you will lose it:
your mind and soul.
Beware they are everywhere,
next to you
and in front of you.
There are even some
lurking inside of your heart
they call themselves fear.
– Fear is the Illusion by Robert M. Drake
“I knew he was hurting me, I knew he wasn’t treating me right. I knew I deserved better…but I stayed anyways. Sometimes you love someone, you love them so much, that you let them hurt you. I wanted him to touch me, even if it made me bleed. I wanted those seconds of happiness even if it meant a night of tear stained pillows. In my gut, I knew it wasn’t right, but I’d spend hours making excuses just to try to feel it was. I put myself second to put him first…and I thought….hey…maybe one day he’ll do the same for me.”
“Spend money. Change your hairstyle. Sell your old clothes and pursue your new style with the money you get from it. Be strong. Be patient. Get drunk if you want to, but not every weekend. Buy a chocolate bar every week when your favorite tv show is on. Take hot baths. Wake up early. Start jogging. Write. Find a friend who will listen to you and don’t stop until you find it. Study. Read. Make your Instagram cool. Write some more. Get that damn piercing. Buy bath bubbles and bath more. Adore your body. Shave, for yourself. Book flights for next spring. Write this day down, write it all down. Cry. Finally feel some homesickness. Learn to be in silence. Learn to stand being alone. Drink lots of coffee. Get ready for christmas. Feel smart at school. Spend a weekend alone. Take lots of selfies. Eat chocolate while watching reality tv-shows. Meditate. Stretch. Learn ballet. Buy overpriced coffee. Learn to be with yourself.”
I wanted to share this because it basically made me think about how I can get out of the depression I’m in and what things I can do to make myself happy. While I haven’t started trying, it was inspiring to me and helpful. I thought some of you struggling might want to be inspired also.
“Don’t hang out with people who don’t love you. Don’t try to impress people who aren’t worth it. Don’t try to win people over who aren’t worth it. Focus on yourself, and focus on the people who are really awesome and who love you. Don’t hang out with people who make you feel like shit. Don’t spend your energy on them. There is so much pressure to be part of the right thing: well, you should create the right thing. If you don’t see it, create it. If you don’t see what you want, be the change you want to see.”
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”
~ C.S. Lewis
“Shakespeare is like mashed potatoes, you can never get enough of him.”
–Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt, page 274.