“Are you ok?”

I ask him to tell me if something is bothering him,

If something is wrong.

He says, “no, it’s ok,”

So I keep asking, 

He says the same or something similar every time.

“No Ally, it’s ok I swear.”

I keep asking,

I’d rather he tell me now

Than when he gets angry and it spits out another way…

I keep asking,

He starts to laugh and smiles at me.

“Ally, do I seem off today or something?”

“No I just want to make sure you’re ok.”

“Okay, I’m good I swear and if you keep asking I’m gonna get upset.”

“Okay…”

He kisses me then.

It’s getting late,

I leave his house 

And text him when I’m home safe.

The conversation is good…

Him being ok about everything?

Too good to be true…

What happens next shouldn’t have happened.

I told him that I asked him to tell me what was wrong earlier and he wouldn’t.

He said that everything was ok earlier but now he sees it.

He called me names.

He swore at me.

He said he never wants to see me again.

He said I’m going to fuck him over like every other girl.

Yet we’ve been together for over 2 years…if I were gonna fuck him over it would’ve happened.

If I wanted to leave I would’ve.

Even when he’s like this I want to say. 

I’m sorry for whatever I did that made you want to say those things to me.

I feel like I’m a horrible person,

Like I hurt everyone I see…

I just would like to know what I did?

That way I can prevent it in the future…

Words and Pain

Words scar your mind 

More

Than physical pain.

Yes, pain does

Scar your body.

But your mind?

Easily forgets.

Words are different.

Words are communication,

What others say to you.

If someone you love uses words

To abuse you

And

Physical pain to abuse you.

The words will

ALWAYS 

Scar your mind worse.

Just

Trust me.