A Cry for Help

All I do is bring people down.

All I do is push people away.

All I want is to make people happy.

All I want is people around me.

Yet it feels out of my control.

How do people live knowing

all they do is hurt others?

Please, I’m begging for the answer. 

How do people stop hurting others?

All I want is happy people, 

all I do is the opposite.

I need help,

I’m begging for it to go away 

and it won’t.

I need it to go away.

Sex or Love?

Sometimes it’s hard.

Hard to know why someone is with us.

Is it the sex? Or is it because they actually enjoy 

you as a person?

Sometimes you know they love you.

Even though you know,

sometimes that person does something.

Then the anxiety starts.

It says “you’re worthless,”

“You’re never good enough,”

“All you’re good for is sexual pleasure,”

“That’s all people see when they look at you,”

And then,

you can’t help but wonder if 

one day

it’ll be true?

Loop

Stuck in a loop

like your favorite song,

playing over and over and

over again.

Pushing away the ones 

who are close to you,

who you want and 

are scared to lose.

There’s no reason to think

this way but

here 

am.

Scared I mean nothing.

Scared you don’t care.

Too needy,

the loneliness consuming 

me. 

This is why I push people away before

they become too attached.

In the end they stay and

get hurt anyway. 

I’m sorry.

I don’t want it to be this way,

but for some reason it hasn’t ever 

changed….