Nothing Will Ever Be Good 

I didn’t want it to be this way.

It was supposed to be good.

There was supposed to he happiness.

Now I see what is supposed to be I 

will never have.

There’s so much hatred in my heart,

finally I realized.

How am I ever supposed to be happy with 

someone 

I love?

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Sex or Love?

Sometimes it’s hard.

Hard to know why someone is with us.

Is it the sex? Or is it because they actually enjoy 

you as a person?

Sometimes you know they love you.

Even though you know,

sometimes that person does something.

Then the anxiety starts.

It says “you’re worthless,”

“You’re never good enough,”

“All you’re good for is sexual pleasure,”

“That’s all people see when they look at you,”

And then,

you can’t help but wonder if 

one day

it’ll be true?

Loop

Stuck in a loop

like your favorite song,

playing over and over and

over again.

Pushing away the ones 

who are close to you,

who you want and 

are scared to lose.

There’s no reason to think

this way but

here 

am.

Scared I mean nothing.

Scared you don’t care.

Too needy,

the loneliness consuming 

me. 

This is why I push people away before

they become too attached.

In the end they stay and

get hurt anyway. 

I’m sorry.

I don’t want it to be this way,

but for some reason it hasn’t ever 

changed….

Fighting a Battle with Myself 

Fighting a battle with myself.

I have something good, 

regardless of depression or

anxiety. 

My life is good,

my mind says no.

Through nightmares each night, 

I attack myself.

Try to convince myself it’s 

bad or 

I don’t deserve it.

Depression and anxiety.

Attack you…

When things are going well.

Is this why people like us 

never have good things? 

What’s wrong with the human brain?

Deep down we tell ourselves 

we don’t deserve

anything 

good.

This is How it Goes 

This is how it goes:

One thing upsets me, 

I get mad and react…

possibly without thinking.

Eventually I realize I might be

overreacting.

I then continue to be upset….

for different reasons like

I hate myself,

I’m a horrible person,

I’m not good enough.

Eventually I forget why 

I was crying in the first place and 

I try to tell myself to stop

and it won’t.

I hate depression.

I have no reason to be upset right now.

I feel like I’m absolutely insane and 

why would anyone put themselves around that?

I’m sorry,

I’m sorry,

I’m sorry.

I hate putting people through pain.

Storms 

It’s a black and white kinda day,

just like this storm that we can’t escape from.

The wind blows, 

the clouds rumble,

the rain washes everything away.

Even on these stormy days I think

this world is so beautiful,

why do we abuse it?

Leave it be,

let it heal.

How some of us feel inside,

pain,

anger,

a rush of emotions.

Let us heal,

just like this beautiful world

around us.

I’m My Own Person 

I hate not feeling good enough.

I hate feeling like I need to ask permission.

I hate feeling like everything is my fault.

Nothing bad can even happen and

I will still feel those things.

I don’t need to, I’m my own person.

I don’t take orders,

Nobody’s in charge of me.

I’m my own person,

I need to believe that,

I need to think it all the time.

I’m my own person and

Nobody controls me.