Why Am I Afraid to Lose?

PTSD is a funny thing,

if that’s even what I have.

Afraid to lose

because of my past?

Because of my now?

Because of what?

Even if someone is mean, 

using me,

or even abusing me

can’t

leave.

Why?

Even if

I don’t care so much…

losing them is still hard.

I’m not ready for loss,

I’m not ready for love again.

Maybe I’ll just stay alone,

instead.

I warned you..

said I’d be too much for you. 

And when I lose someone,

it breaks my heart in two. 

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